ClasSIPfied Menu

At S³ the cusstomer is always irate, so
we will cusstomize your SIPS upon demand.

666

Six ounces of coffee or tea, six ounces of milk, and six teaspoons of sugar (served hot in a Venial cup or over ice in a Mortal cup)

Animal Style

Coffee or tea served in a bowl (in-store only—not available for Evil Spirits)

Bitch Slap

Extra bitter Bitches’ Brew (darker roast, finer grind, longer steep)

Black-and-White

Black Magic coffee with milk on the side (can SIPstitute with another blend)

Dirty Chai

Pai Tea Latte with a Fucking Ice Queen on the side

Flying Fuck

Barista’s choice (specify size or commit to a Cardinal SIP)

Pro-Green Style / Deep Throat

Save our Sinvironment by bringing your own cup for us to fill, or we can pour your SIPS directly down your throat for 6.66% off.

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Cusstomer SIPpreciation

For our DIS loyal SIPporters, we performed SIPScraft to conjure up these Sindred Spirits. You won’t find them on our regular menu, but you can order them by name.

For devilicious drinks both day and night
the SIPerior choice is black and white

TrebleRose Royale

S³ might not exSIPSt if we hadn’t encountered some good Treble. Her charming Rose’s Cafe seemed too neat and sweet of a coffee retreat to bear the heat of a Pride Ring street, so we were sinspired to summon the trademark of the beast (666™️), and the rest is SIPstory.

We’ve jazzed up a Rose Royale by adding notes of Helleye rose liqueur and a garnish of Helleye petals to rosé champain with crème de cusses and a twisted lemon.

Pair with: an oppositz-attract romance with a twist!

Sazeraxian2

This artful aperitif is made with 2 fingers of wry spirits, a measure of sweetness, a dash of bitters, and a rinse of absinthe, “owl” stirred up with a sizzle stick.

Pair with: a story of office mates sharing a desk job that’s a real hoot.

Satanic Botanic

The G&T becomes an SBT with a Hellthy dose of botanical gin mixed with Hellderflower tonic water to create a sintoxicating bouquet. A class SIP!

Pair with: a time-travel fix-it that is destined to become a classic. S³ + P³ 4 ∞!

Bex on the Beach

You’ll be transportaled to the sands of Envy with this stiff, fruity cock-tail in one hand and a sexy beach read in the other. In our Hellaversion, we put one pert peach and two parts melon liqueur in a large cup-size of booze before mixing it up with pineapple juice and popping a cherry on top.

Pair with: a simmer BBQ (Bex Boink queue)—with so many choices, you can keep throwing a shrimp on the birdie.

Caitspiranha

A classic Caipirinha with bite! To muddled lime, sugar, and water, we add importaled cachaça spirits and spicy Brazilan Malagueta. This “SIPprano” pepper hits a high note on the Scoville scale and will make your taste buds sing.

Pair with: a sweet and spicy citrus-forward fic.

Madhattan

Our new-fashioned Manhattan sounds bananas, but you’ll be hooked when you get a mouthful of Hot Emotional Load from Helluva Tea by Lea. We go stir-crazy by mixing honeybush banana nut tea syrup and crème de banane liqueur into bourbon and sweet Vermouth* layered with black malnut and tiki torched bitters, then garnished with a slice of banana caramelized in the fires of Hell. (We can swap out Identical Twin Brother for the HEL of it, because they’re the exZahct same blend.)

*Sweet (aka wet) Vermouth is a sexclusive spirit made in the Lust Ring. Each bottle claims to contain a bit of succuspit from the mouth of pop star Verosika Mayday.

Pair with: a whirlwind madventure in the Wrath Ring.

Lady Grey

This Hellegant drink will dance across your tongue with citrusy flavors of Purgamot gin, lemon sinful syrup, and Owl Grey Royaltea shaken over ice and served in a chilled coup. Our signature smooth move is adding aquafoeda* to create a sinsuously sickly texture.

*aquafoeda (AH-kwuh-FAY-duh) is the viscious liquid in canned sickpeas from Greed.

Pair with: a hauntingly beautiful story of heartbreak and loss.

MerVodka

Simple Poire Highball
1.5 oz Poire Williams
0.25 oz simple syrup
0.5 oz fresh lemon juice
Top with soda water
Lemon twist or thin pear slice
Crisp, aromatic, and very “grown-up” compared to most fruity cocktails.

Pair with: an un-Fathomable collection of treasures from a Merchant of invention.

GinTaePear

Simple Poire Highball
1.5 oz Poire Williams
0.25 oz simple syrup
0.5 oz fresh lemon juice
Top with soda water
Lemon twist or thin pear slice
Crisp, aromatic, and very “grown-up” compared to most fruity cocktails.

Pair with: a sweet and spicy citrus-forward fic.